A poem about the devastating effect of keeping secrets and how one in particular kept me in exile and isolation from myself and the world for too many years. It tainted every part of my being but I am free now.
Some as precious and spectacular
as rubies
some as ominous and treacherous
as fools gold
whether dark or light
each sticks to our bones
and falsifies our essence.
Some sparkle in fantastic splendour
memories of stolen moments
of joy, passion, mischief.
Afraid to let them escape from our depths
in case the feeling ends
in case it wasn’t true
caressing them
like a twin flame
we nurture what is only ours to know
what seems sacred.
Yet horror lurks there still,
you drink it down
try to poison it.
Its ugliness wants to stare you in the face
it screams it bites it hurts
and tries to smother you
and you wreathe in anguish
as it refuses to give you peace
moulding you with its fear
enforcing its identity upon you
it snuffs out the light
bringing you to the brink of insanity.
So thickly are you covered by its skin
nobody has ever seen you.
But you cannot continue to cry out
for mercy
or implore the Creator for healing
and a quiet heart
and expect the horror nor the splendour
to stay stuck to your bones.
Both will be expelled
if you are true of heart
the words will come
and be placed at the feet of those
who need to hear
and be returned home.
